Seniors "dating"

I think I have had a stupid month. I went online to one of those "seniors" dating sites. I thought that it would be nice to find a friend, someone to perhaps go out to dinner with, or a walk. That was it, nothing else! After several emails I met with Gary for coffee. He stated that he too was widowed. We met at Tim Hortons for coffee then went down to the river and sat and talked.....so far so good except I kept comparing him to Bryon.  After an hour we went back to our cars, started to say good bye and he asked for a hug!!!!!!!FRIENDSHIP, nothing else is what I wanted. A week later he invited me to dinner at Boston Pizza. What an exciting conversation we had, let's see, we talked about his dentures, his dead ex wife who he hated, his kids and grandkids. When we departed he asked for a kiss!!!!!!!!!!Yuck, no way once again FRIENDSHIP what part of that word did he not understand. Throughout this whole ordeal I felt that I was betraying Bryon, I am still married. I walked away from this ordeal with a renewed sense of my life. I am going to live it my way, I don't need or want another man in my life, friendship or not. I have the love of my life with me, he has never left me, he lives in my heart and memories. Moreover he guides me every day.
Later that night I talked with a dear friend in California, Mary. We spent almost an hour and a half just catching up on one and others lives. The conversation was one of the most profound I have had in awhile. Mary gets it, she understands that I feel still married. In her church when  you are married you are bound  for eternity with that person, death does not change it. Most religions say "until death do you part, the Moromon religion takes it further, to eternity. I ended the conversation with a total feeling of peace. Yes I am still married to the love of my life and one day we will be together again.
Love you Pooter Bear.