Satrday Night

The saying is that time heals.....that is the saying. To me, each second, minute, hour, day that ticks by reminds me of how I miss Bryon. I remember the happy times, I try to savour those moments but right now my loss fills my heart. Today I started to clean the bedroom, you know all that dust that never gets to see the light of day from under the bed, today was going to be their day of reckoning. That lead to washing the wall, and other assorted cleaning. In my mind I heard Bryon say"looks really good, we should enjoy it until the "girls" come in" If I keep busy enough I think that I will not have face the fact that Bryon has gone. I am not missing him because he will come up the stairs any moment..denial or the realization of it is so cruel. There should be a handbook for people on what to say to someone who has had a death of someone close. "I'm sorry"...what are you sorry for, you didn't cause their death or."if you need anything call me" often said by co-workers or not so close friends...gee, I can't change the seal on my toilet, will you help? I know that people feel the need to say something and I am just bitter that I am on the receiving end of those well meaning phrases. I try not to be upset around the girls for they are feeling the loss as well. Clingy, mouthy, and protective. Bryon was a huge part of their world, it was he that would take them for long walks, share his meals with them, were there once was two to do that there is only one now. Boots still watches out the front window, waiting, waiting waiting. I met with Dr. F. on Friday, had to get some pwperwork from him. He said that when he saw Bryon Thursday night he had no idea that he would die. He thought he would respond to the antibiotics. It shook him when he heard. Bryon always said that the Cancer would not kill him....he was right...it was the cure that did. He fought long and hard, through out it all he kept his sense of humour. Cancer can be beaten, but for Bryon he just was too weak to fight of an infection.

Good night Bryon, I'll see you one day behind the moon.