Thursday

I am eternally grateful that it is a long weekend. I am going in ever decreasingly smaller circles, can't make decisions, the whole nine yards. Am trying to get pictures scanned for Bryons service, can't decide which ones, can't decide on a route to drive back to Ontario, people tell me to fly back....damn, I used to be such a decisive person. That was when I was whole, when I had someone to bounce ideas off.My sister tried really hard to get time off work to drive back with me but fate conspired against us,I know Shaunee would go with me but she has to keep her hours up at work or no medical. I have asked Sherry if she can get time of work, I would fly her out and we could drive back. If she can't that is o.k. I know that I can make the trip on my own, just leave a day or two earlier and take my time. See, I do know something. I don't know if it will ever get any better, I think a person just learns to live with the pain, emptyness and you start to fill in the gaping holes. Tomorrow I am going to sleep in, maybe my mind will clear.

Good night sweetheart, I love you.