Tuesday April 12

Had to go to the doctor today to get a RX refill. It is a safe place to talk about Bryon as Dr. D has been my family doctor for over 25 years and Bryons for almost 20. Once again I asked him if I had made the right decisions regarding Bryon and his care and once again he told me I did everything I could do and "no" another round of antibiotics would not have helped.He told me that he felt that Bryon just had had enough, that he knew everything would be alright and it was his time. I wish my heart and head would get on the same page. I hear the doctors words but my mind heart says there has to have been more that I could have done. Dr. D nailed Bryon to a "T" he loved his family, could see the good in almost everything, didn't sweat the small stuff and moreover lived his life to the fullest. What a contrast Bryon and I must have made. I sweat the small stuff. Take for instance the trip in June to take Bryon home. I am agonizing over every little detail, what route to take, how long it should take just about everything.