Am I going Crazy

I honestly think I am loosing my mind. I am stuck, stuck in October 29,2010. I can't take down the calender on which I had all the appointments neatly put in with coloured post it notes. I relive every moment of the day. I used to think that I was strong, how did one pivotel day bring me to my knees? My lover, my soulmate, my rock, my Bryon died. I want him back, I want to be with him. I never knew that the kind of love we shared even existed until he showed me. We were one being, now I am fractured, I am not all here. I don't want to live, i don't want to die I want my Bryon back. I made him a promise that I would take him home to be buried, I don't know if I can leave him back there. I am so lost, I feel enveloped in grays and darkness.