Summer Rain

It's hard. I am sitting on the patio,the summer rain has finished and all t hat is left is the sweet smell of the earth washed clean. I want to pick up the phone and call Bryon. It is his lunch time, I want him to share this moment with me. There have been other tiimes as well, times we should be able to share. I am not angry just sad that he is not here.
I have to redefine who I am as a person. I hav e to do this for me.
Yes I took half a sleeping bill as you can tell by my spelling. I am still trying to master my Blackberry, I received a lovely card from Judy, Bryons pervious wife. She is one classy lady and I mean that in the nicest way. Some people keep their deaceased husbands phone they want to hear his voice. I didn't. His voice, his face,laughter are and will be firmly ingraved in my heart. I don't think I ever went through the "anger" stage of grief. I have nothing productive to be angry at.
All I know is I miss him so much. I want him back but if I can't have that I want the memories we made to never ever leave my heart. This gets me through each day, sometimes it's just a minute.
I love you Bryon, I miss you so much .I sit and watch the moon, I sit and wait. Love know no bounds.
Until we meet again...."Goodnight my Pooter Bear"
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone