Four more days

I have four more working days, I really don't know how I am making it through every hour. This is the funeral that has lasted almost 7 months. In most cases the person dies, you make arrangements, your mourn, and mourn and mourn. There is alot to be said for using the services of funeral homes. One is they take away a big burden, two they will dig the grave. I am trying to organize my husbands funeral. Out here in Vancouer my side of the family has already said "good-bye" this is for his side of the family. Maybe I am trying too hard but that is who I am. Planning the funeral gives me focus, it detracts from my feelings of emptyness, of missing him. In a small way it empowers me, I am doing something usefull, doing what has to be done. I don't know what will fill the void after it is over, probably crash and burn time. I ask why did you leave me? My answer is "it was time" But it wasn't time, we had so much we wanted to do, to see, to say. Death has robbed us of all that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait for me behind the moon........please.