Wednesday

I have always tried to be a self reliant person but since the death of Bryon I have lost that, Today was a rude awakening for me as to why I have to regain it back. I planned this trip back east to bury Bryon and my friend wanted to tag along as far as Alberta. I planned the trip so that I could do this for her, well today she bailed on me. She has a good reason but just the same it sicks. The way it is looking now I will make the trip back to Vancouver on my own. It would have been nice to at least have some company...oh well. So that along with a host of other things allowed me to hold my very own "pity party"today.When a person dear to you dies, you plan the funeral, execute it, mourn and then slowly move ahead. Not me...oh no, this is the 7 month funeral.Why do the first 3 letters of the word funeral spell "fun?????" I could not take Bryon back to bury him any sooner as the ground would be frozen so this must mean it is one heck of a well planned funeral. Life just sucks big time. I know I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get on with it but damn it all, that just takes to much energy right now.
Yup, life sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!