Needing or wanting

Some people seem to need or want others around them. They have a social network of people and family.
Bryon had me and I had him, that was enough for us. We really didn't have a lot if friends, not the kind that you went out for dinner with or played cards with. Now I find I can go days without talking to anyone or seeing anyone and it doesn't bother me. If I had the means I would pack up take my dogs and find some remote place to live. Bryon and I often dreamed and talked of such a place. It didn't matter if it didn't have all the modern amenities. It would have been our sanctuary.

Miss you Pooter

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Breaking the cycle

I think I finally have it figured out why I still smoke. When Bryon got sick we both had almost quit, he died, I started again. Broke my hip, didn't smoke for over a week, no cravings even after the drugs wore off. Started again. So after a lot of thought I am really trying to quit again. Gone from 30 per day to 8. Smoking was something Bry and I did together. We would be working, he in the shop me in the house and all of a sudden he would call " Miller (beer) break." I would grab a coke he a beer and we would sit and talk both if us smoking. Smoking has become to me a way of connecting with happier times. It fills a void. So now I have decided to really try to stop.
Each day I am going to cut down 1 smoke and hopefully quit in a week.
Keeping my fingers crossed. I don't need them to stay connected to Bryon for he is always on my thoughts and heart.
Love you Bryon

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Shape shifter

Because I have insomnia and enjoy the quiet if the night I often find myself looking out my front window. For the last week or so around 3:00 a.m. A Shape Shifter has been hanging around the front yard. A Shape Shifter is also known as a coyote. The name comes from their ability to shift into any environment. Once dwelling away from humans they now live amongst us as we have taken away their habitant. Bryon used to sit and watch the coyote across from where he worked. He often marvelled at how it would just sit and stare at him. Perhaps it was the same one that stalked me. Broken hip and all they still hold a fascination to me. The one on the lawn saunters across stopping to look at the house them he's gone. He never appears during the day and I don't know where he stays. There are some wooded areas around my place perfect for the Shape Shifter.
For some reason his appearances bring me some comfort.

Hugs Bryon

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