I Love You

Do you remember the first time your life partner said "I LoveYou?" I do. Swift Current Saskatchewan. It was in the parking lot of a Husky Truck stop.

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The "After"

Today was the third year that Bryon was not here to celebrate his birthday. There is only 20 minutes left in this day.

To me the hardest thing to do since his death is learning to live in the "after" After he got sick, after we had all this hope, after all the treatments, after he died. It is very easy to wallow in self pity, it is harder to learn to live.......after.
The last couple of days has really brought this home. My big girl Boots dashed out of the house 4 days ago, bombed into the back yard. Her leg went one way, the knee the other. She limped back upstairs. After 3 days I took her to the vet to see what had happened. After xrays I was told she has Cruciatge Ligament Rupture. Apparently hockey players get his, Boots doesn't play hockey. The answer, to make her better is an operation in which they place a metal plate in her knee. If she doesn't have this she will be in pain, walk with a limp and it will affect her other leg. Not a lot of doctors do this operation, it is fairly complicated and a long operation. Long and short of it is, Boots is going to have the $4000.00 operation. It's not the cost that bothers me, it is my vets words. "Wendy, your world is going to drastically change for a few months" After the operation Boots will have to remain extremely quiet, allowed outside only on a leash, no jumping, no excitement, for at least 2 months. I feel so alone. It is a big responsibility considering that I also work. This is the "after" This is a responsibility that at one time Bryon and I would have shared. To add to this I received another letter from Motor Vehicle. Actually Bryon received the letter. In it they stated that they have yet to receive his medical form and if they didn't get it they would not renew his license. Here in lies the problem. Upon receipt of the first notification I contacted them. As per their instructions I sent them a copy of his death certificate. That should have been the end of it.Guess they didn't enter the information in his file, thus the second letter. Once again I phoned them and after a long conversation I politely asked the agent if she was sitting by her computer. Her reply of course was "yes" I then asked her to please enter the fact that my husband was dead, therefore he would not be renewing his license. In an earlier post I wrote about the gun registry and how after telling the agent numerous times that Bryon was dead, and yes I had sent them all the forms the agent politely told me that my husband could not longer buy restricted firearms. You have to love government agencies.  So there you have it, a little bit of my "after" 

Birthday

Happy 66th birthday Pooterbear

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Gertrude and Heathcliff

It's 10:30 at night. I find myself sitting on the back stoop, for a change it isn't raining. Two doors over, perched high in a tree are our two resident Bald Eagles. All settled in for the night. Bryon named them Gertrude and Heathcliff after two of Red Skeltons characters. We have watched them built their nest and raise their young. Tonight I said "goodnight" to them. I looked over at the garage, Bryons workshop my mind seeing the lights on, seeing him working on his latest project. It's time to come in Bryon, it's getting late.
I miss him

Behind the moon

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There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief. — Aeschylus


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Love this Quote...

Each day

Now here is a cheerful thought. For each day we live , feel the sun, greet our friends we are a day closer to becoming a memory.

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