Monday Jan 10

Having lived with Bryon for so long I have come to realize that I took a lot of things for granted. Snow is forcast and Bryon always said that I should not drive in it as I am not comfortable doing so...now the snow comes. I have no one to check on me, to make sure I can get out of the driveway or make it too work....that I am safe. Sure the kids do what they can but Bryon would call me, just to make sure. If something happens in the night there is no one to reach out to, if I have a bad dream there is no one to hold me and chase them away.It is not only the silence but the aloneness.I am an adult, I can deal with this but life is so much better with Bryon here, but he is gone. It seems that things are starting to break down in the house, once again I always knew that Bryon would be able to fix them. There are some things that I know are beyond what I can/should do but I will try. It seems like yesterday that I was sitting talking,holding his hand....it seems like yesterday all that was stolen from me....stolen by a death.