Dec 26,2010

My dear Pooter Bear. This was out first Christmas without you.The kids really rallied round and somehow we made it through the day. Everyone has gone home now. A couple of days before I took up chocolates up to the chemo and emergency nurses as well as Diane the PCC. These people made a difference in our lives. I was wrapping presents, it was not right that there was nothing for you, so the girls and I bought you a remote control helicopter with stabilizers, really cool. I wrapped it and you had a present under the tree. We gave you your box of chocolate cherries, "go" balls and baileys and coffee for christmas breakfast. For dinner you had a beer beside you. I have never felt so alone, even with people around me I am lonely. You know how the two of us became as one. Bryon it is such a dismal thought waking up each day knowing this is how it must be, I miss you so much. If anyone saw me they would think I was a raving lunitic, talking to the moon, crying. I wish I could make time go back but I can't. I will always love you and I miss you so much.