Wednesday

Finally some really good news. The doctor figures the low sodium is because his body is responding to the dead tissue around the tumour. What that means is that he is responding well to the chemo, the tumour is starting to die. We still have a long road ahead of us but for the first time in a couple of months I know that Bryon and I will have a better sleep. Chemo starts next Tuesday and we are still monitering the sodium levels, but for this day we are walking on air.

Monday Spet.20,2010

O.K. So today was not what one would call a "red letter day" As previously posted Bryon has been having major bone pain. Today he was supposed to start roung 2 of chemo, didn't happen. Got a call this morning that his sodium levels were really, really low, bring him in now for I.V. sodium,they wouldn't do the chemo until the levels are up. Three hours later and one bag of sodium his levels have only moved up one point. He is in pain, leg cramps, can't walk. No chemo today plus he has an infection to boot. The nurses were great, in fact our G.P. wanted to see Bryon right away in his office, Diane, the patient care co ordinator, got us a wheel chair and came across the street with us to the Dr. office. All this and she was off shift. Dr. F said that if there was a bed Bryon would be in hospital but he felt I could take care of him. One l litre of fluids in a day, more salt and he will check his level on Wednesday. Oh, did I mention that he was very adamant that if Bryon started acting funny or anything, (apparently he is at risk for seizures with such a low sodium level) I was not to hesitate to call 911. His pain meds have been changed to percodan or somethig with oxycontin in it. Bryon does not wine about pain but he really is in pain. Our onocologist is away for the week so we meet with the locum om Wednesday to see when we can start the chemo again. Maybe Thursday if his levels are up. So, that was our fun for the day, 7 hours in the hospital. I told Bryon that next time we go on a date that I get to choose where.
Oh forgot, some of the bone pain is because the medication that he had to inject himself with to get the bone marrow to produce white blood cells have been an over achiever, producing to many cells and causing the bone marrow to swell, thus the bone pain.

Saturday

EEEEEgads.. not only are my dogs shedding but my husband is as well. Poor Bryon, his hair is starting to fall out. It was out to the store to find him a hat, tomorrow he says he might as well get the barber to shear off what is left. He seems to be hurting all over, don't know why, maybe his body is not used to the inactivity. Wednesday was the PET scan, Thursday was our GP visit. Nothing new on those fronts. He starts another round of chemo on Monday and on the 27th a 1-3 hour visit with the onocologise at the Cancer Agency. He is the one that will be doing the radiation. Everyone that we have had anything to do with in the medical field have be fantastic.....answering questions, explaining things, you couldn't ask for a better health care team. Marj( from next door) has been fantastic, she is always there for me and has driven us to many an appointment. Bryon and I are so lucky to have great family and friends....they are the ones that keep us going. Just knowing that some of you take the time to care, to read my blog and post. Thank you , all of you, thank you.

Tuesday

PET scan tomorrow, last Monday was an appointment with DR.N the onocologist. Just to see how Bry was doing. He is now officially on STD....o.k. get your minds out of the gutter, short term disability it stands for. His neck is very sore don't know why, he didn't sleep worth a darn last night so he has been sleeping since noon today. His appetite has almost gone, I try to tell him that 1 bottle of Boost does not a balanced daily intake make. I am going to have to make some soup or something. He is so tired and seems to hurt everywhere. It is hard to watch someone you love go through all this,it sucks the starch out of you. I think it is the helpless feeling. I know that somewhere there is someone who would gladly trade places with us.......but damn it all, right now it is all about US!!!!!!!!!!! Well meaning people tell me that " I am strong, that I will make it through this" Really, what are the options?????????? Sorry, I know that they mean well but I am in that kind of mood. I want to run away, just for awhile, run so far , this is hard to describe.

Saturday

Wow, what a great day it was. Bryon was feeling better, not 100% mind you but compared to where he has been today was great. He puttered around, got some of the things he wanted to do done, we sat and talked the puttered some more. His appetite is still not great but between the Boost and cherry pie he is not fading away. All day it was sunny but come evening in typical Vancouver fashion it started to rain.
But never fear, my intrepid husband was still able to get a fire going and we sat, in the rain by the fire. Now you tell me, does life get any better that that?

Friday

Today was a far better day. Bry was able to stay up most of the day, he didn't go to work but that is fine. The pain seems to have subsided for the most part, still not much of an appetite, but the homemade cherry pie went down really well. He just seems so tired all the time. The girls were happy as they got an evening walk, something he could not do yesterday. Cancer gives a person a whole new outlook on life, the petty little things don't mean anything, you let them skirt by. You relish each and every moment, no matter how small, how insignificant. You live for the now, because tomorrows are so uncertain. You hope, you pray, you even try to bargain, but in the end no one knows. My prayer is, that I will, by some devine means have a minimum of 20 more years with Bry.
Carpe Diem!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday

Today had to be the first of probably many of Bryons worse days. As mentioned in yesterdays post he started to have "bone" pain. In typical Bryon fashion he stayed at work for his shift. I waited up for him just in case he felt he could not ride his motorcycle home. He had a fitful sleep, got up around 10:00 and took the girls for their walk. When he got home he felt really yucky for lack of a better word. He had some toast and was back in bed by 11:30 I puttered around the house and he got up around 5:30. Now anyone who knows Bryon knows that the girls are one of his main priorities and for him not to take them out for their walk you just know he is not feeling well at all. He said he just didn't trust himself driving so back to bed it was. It is now 11:02 and he has slept from 6:00. He isn't hungry just hurts and feels "punky" I did some research on the net re the drugs he is on and if he doesn't feel any better come tomorrow I will call Dr.N to see what is up.Apparently the injections he just finished are a derivitive of E Coli..........wonderful, just wonderful. One of the side effects of this drug is "bone" pain but come tomorrow if has not gotten any better we will be paying the good Dr a visit. SO much for having a cancer thinking week off. Honestly who am I fooling, once you have that diagnoses your whole world changes, there just isn't such a thing as a cancer non thinking week.

Wednesday Sept.08,2010

Just when I start to get a bit of a reprieve from cancer, no appointments, no pills, no injections, life, for the time being pretends to be normal, something jars you back into reality. Bry finished his injections of Filgrastim yesterday. This is the drug that is supposed to make white blood cells via your bone marrow. Anyhow, tonight at work, yes he has been going to work this week, he phoned complaining of a major bone ache. This is one of the side effects of this drug.....he said that he might be home early. No one can fault him for comeing home early. I feel so helpless, there is nothing that I can do to help him.

Saturday

Thursday turned out to be a not go to work day. Bry was listing to starboard and just wanted to rest. Friday he started his injections to help the bone marrow produce white blood cells and he felt well enough to go to work. One thing is he has not lost his sense of humour. He was describing our bed and said"our memory foam has alzhemiers, it forgot to reform" Meaning time to turn the mattress Wendy. Nothing planned for next week, no appointments and no pills other than 3 more injections.
All in all Bry seems to be doing all right, tired so he just putters around the house.

Thursday Sept 02,2010

First round of Chemo is finished. Bry felt pretty good but today he hit a brick wall.
He is feeling not just right, but he still wants to try to go to work. I don't say anything to him, if he wants to try then try he must. Got the expensive prescription yesterday and he starts that Friday. It is supposed to help the bone marrow produce more white blood cells. He has another round of chemo starting on the 20th and somewhere in there radiation comes into play. Our calender is really quite the kelidiscope of colour, different appoints have different coloured post it arrows.It works for us. He still has all his hair but we figure that will change by the weekend probably. I am totally exhausted and we are closing for next week. Never fear there is still the house to go through so I will not be living the life of the rich and famour. Pet scan is on Sept 15th at VGH. My brother leaves for Spain on the 11 for 3 weeks, can I fit into you suitcase????????????