Friday night

It is not only the loss of my husband that makes me sad it is what he went through before. While I was at work Bryon would try to help out with the daily household chores. One day he was unloading the dishwasher and his knee gave out and he fell. The only way he could get himself up was to crawl to the back stairs, sit down and grab the handrails to boost himself up. When I go to open a door my mind skirts back to the last time he opened the door, turned on a tap, so many lasts.I am not lonely, I am empty. I want to be in that place where I remember the things we did together, happy times, but I am stuck. I see him being loaded into the ambulance, lying in the hospital bed. When will I move past this???????It is hard to fathom at the beginning of each day that he is gone and I must make my way for the next 24 hours, it is a cycle each and every day.

Life just plain sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!