Sunday night

I am going to be alright. I know that I am, what other choice do I have. The only problem is, that I know this, but still feel like someone has taken a battering ram to my whole body. My days are not bad, just another day. Right now I am suffering a major attack of the lonelys....this house is quiet, it is Sunday, it should be our time. My mind travels back to the "what if"era. On Bryons last round of chemo everyone felt he didn't need the injections to boost his white blood count, what if he had taken them? On our last visit to our family Dr. he suggested another round of antibiotics, after talking it over we decided that this would be the third one, was it really needed. He had no symptoms of the flu or anything. What if..What if. Regrets and what if's go hand in hand. Pondering them is useless, it does not good except to slowly drive me bonkers. I have made the choice to TRY and not do it. The days are getting longer so summer will be here. Yesterday marked the 3 months since Bryon left me. I made it this far, I know that I will be alright. It is almost bed time, the house is quiet and yet the silence deafens me.